Being Unlikable
being unlikable
My browser home page obligingly shows me articles it pulls in from mainstream cyberspace according to some method that could be considered creepy or helpful, depending on whether you enjoy having your mind read/shaped by…Google? Facebook? One algorithm to find and bind them all?
I try not to be seduced too often, but I admit it happens. So, today I clicked on an article about things that make you unlikable.
It was a pretty mild list. Granted, I too don’t particularly like people who brag, name-drop, gossip or don’t listen, behaviors the article encourages you to avoid because they make your work colleagues dislike you. Getting along and ahead at work is the goal, and to do so it is important to be likable; therefore, reduce behaviors that make you unlikable.
With that inspiration, I thought I would offer a list of some unlikable behaviors that activists dislike encountering in the course of their work lives (and deserve to be protected from):
Murder
Torture
Betrayal
Disappearing people
Harassment
Retaliatory firing
Discrimination
Divisiveness
Exploitation
Ostracism
Sowing confusion
Sowing division
Backstabbing
Road-blocking
Dissembling
Sidelining
Disrespect
Provocateurism
etc.*
* Since drafting this article I helped protect the Venezuelan Embassy in Washington DC as part of the Embassy Protection Collective. Among other takeaways from that experience is the opportunity to add to the list of unlikable behaviors directed towards activists, all of which we were subjected to by supporters of US military intervention and regime change in Venezuela when they surrounded the embassy and besieged us:
Death threats
Threats to family members
Blockading
Preventing people from getting food and other necessities
Subjecting people unsafe levels of noise-making
Shining strobe lights in people's eyes
Racist, sexist and otherwise dehumanizing taunting
Beating and threatening people's friends and comrades
Taking advantage of police inaction and favoritism to conduct these and similar unlikable behaviors
Defamation and disinformation
Cutting people's electricity and water
Depriving people of sleep
Threatening mob violence
(left) Pro-coup crowd surrounding and blockading embassy night and day. (Above) Shining strobe lights in our eyes.
These and other serious anti-human behaviors cause you to seem unlikable. So don’t do them if you wish to fit in well with the beloved community of people working to make a fair, fun and human planet.
Simple as that.
Scoffing aside, wishing to be liked has benefits in terms of restraining unbridled greed, selfishness and other unlikable behaviors among humans.
The problem is, the Beast does not care if we like it or not, nor do those who support it by engaging in behaviors such as those listed. Sure, they will do as much as possible to seem pleasant, good and right to people it feels it needs to ensure unrestricted access to wealth and power. However, if it considers you extraneous to these ends, i.e., if you are poor and marginalized, then expect a steady diet of unlikable behaviors.
And if you stand directly, deliberately, in its way, as say, activists are wont to do, then expect the gloves to come fully off.
What the Beast really likes is to make us dislike ourselves and one another. That’s why we need to be extremely careful about attacking our fellow activists. We need to remember that even if we dislike them, we need to take care to address differences in ways that help our movements, to avoid facilitating being divided and conquered.
On the other hand, we don’t care if the Beast likes us. Quite the contrary: if it likes us something’s wrong. Everyone enjoys a pleasant work environment full of people who like each other, but if you find yourself getting more perks and promotions, it might be time to wonder if you're not too well liked, and at what cost.
FYI, here is a list of some behaviors capitalists and their minions, representatives of The Beast, dislike you to engage in:
Organizing
Unifying with rivals
Listening to others
Talking with others about how society really works
Especially others you are supposed to hate
Organizing for justice in your workplace
Organizing for justice anywhere
Thinking
Naming names, especially of polluters, exploiters and the politicians they purchase
Setting up collective protest encampments on public or private property
Setting up collective anythings anywhere
Organizing
Telling others about revolutions, social movements and alternatives to capitalism
Creating and participating in ditto
Whistleblowing
Speaking out
Speaking up
Organizing
Singing, especially at protests and in jail
Making irreverent art
Laughing at the Beast
Defying fear
FYI, here is a list of some behaviors capitalists and their minions, representatives of The Beast, dislike you to engage in:
This is not a complete list. Use the contact form below to send in additions. Put these items on your to-do lists!
But be aware that doing so may expose you to some of the unlikable behaviors set forth in the list at the top. Fortunately, you will be seen as highly likable, even beloved, by your FRCCs (Friends-Relatives-Comrades-Colleagues) in the activist community, and those who like them. So do things on the list in organized, thoughtful ways, not alone but shoulder to shoulder with others. You'll like it!
But be prepared to be disliked by the Beast. Which is why it's important to share as much info and thinking as possible about how to survive and thrive as a community while proudly occupying our places on the Beast's sh*t list.
Share your anecdotes of Beast antipathy, how you incurred it, the consequences, how you and your community dealt with them, and what you learned.
-Article: Juliana Barnet.
-Artwork: original adaptation of an image from a psychology article I can't find!
The tone of this piece is partly inspired by “Rape Prevention Tips” by Leigh Hofheimer of the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, with thanks to comedian Sarah Silverman.
More about how I work with internet images and struggle to give credit where credit is due: [Credits page coming]