The Beast Screaming in my Head
No one pays you any attention!! No one cares!!
You sit doodling at your desk while real activists are out in the rain and snow, putting themselves on the line!
You spend too much time on activism! You’re letting down your friends and family!
Activists aren’t interested in art, emotions, and other woo woo stuff!
You are an unpatriotic, peacenik, commie, whataboutist and everybody hates you, even your friends!!!!
JUST GIVE UP!!!!
These are just some of the things the beast is constantly screaming in my head.
Ouch!
It’s tough to shut all that out. Even tougher not to believe it!
How does the beast make us believe it?
We billions are a lot stronger than the beast. The beast is terrified we will find this out. So it does everything possible to convince us we’re worthless, so we can’t wield our power. The beast and its cheerleaders put enormous effort into convincing us that they should rule over us, exploit us, and manipulate us for their own greedy purposes, despite overwhelming evidence that they will destroy the world in multiple ways if we don’t stop them.
The beast invades our brains, constantly driving in messages designed to distract, confuse, isolate, discourage, and thwart us, i.e., get us to do the beast’s work of keeping ourselves under control, ready to do its bidding, and unable to take a stand for our own interests.
I’m a long way from successfully repelling the beast’s insidious burrowing into my brain, but I can declare, with nearly total confidence, that:
its words aren’t true
the yammering in my head is the beast, not me, though it often sounds like me, or like someone I admire
How do you fend off the beast inside your head that tries to make you give up?
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Yammering which has continued nonstop while writing this.
I'm not sure I can agree that generally capitalism creates voices in the head. I think in this particular case it's more corporatism, unchecked state sponsored cronyism, and propaganda in this case. That being said, I think we all have a nagging voice and it applies itself to various endeavors. From art to sports to business, many of us have to wrestle with the spirit of fear of failure or criticism. I call mine the Mean Coach. He actually wants what's best but can be harsh. Then there's Mr. F*ck It who says "just give up." Then there's ghosts of others whose voices become one & say all kinds of silly things to make me doubt.
Sometimes fighting back isn't the answer. Like picking through rocky soil to find gold, at times I just passively listen to see what the doubting voices have to teach. Maybe the lesson is I need to slow down before jumping on another cause or bandwagon. Sometimes the doubt is saying "no not this project this time." That mean coach is often asking "who do you think you are?" And this is good because I need to assess why I'm doing something and what the costs/benefits are to my personhood, family, and home.
Or else sometimes I just say back to the voice; no, you're an asshole and I can make this happen. Then the lesson is to embrace & enhance my capabilities. And in spite of the negativity, that voice of challenge helped me get there.
Slow down, breathe deep; literally consider the lilies of the field: 'there is nothing in Living Nature that is not connected to the whole' ( Geothe)